‘UGMO Season Preview 2012: The Season the World Ends’ is a multiple part series introducing this years team. Today it’s the wily vets… but only half of them.
Welcome to the first part of the final portion of this series of Season Preview blog posts. Today we’ll introduced you to the newest of the seasoned wily vets.
I’d say that this year’s team is probably one of the most wily-vet infested teams in the nation. Last year we had a lot of players who were just getting their first experience of extended playing time on the A-team. They were good last year but this year they’re a little bit older, a little bit wilier, and a lot more veterinarian. Over the years they have learned important things like using your opponents moment against them and proper tournament nutrition. Trust me these guys know their stuff now so without further ado let me introduce you to the vets.
Pound it Oski!
Nick ‘Oski’ Okita:
Oski is a bear. Usually he is really nice but if he doesn’t have his coffee in the morning he can look like this. Oski, along with many of the newly appointed wily vets, has been playing on the A-team for the last two years. He quickly established himself as a reliable handler on last year’s team and has a proclivity for getting timely D’s. This year he looks to step up his game and provide a steadying influence on the O-line.
Artist rendering of Ponyo
Ben ‘Ponyo’ Mahrer:
Ponyo spent the last six months getting his spanglish on in South America. After teaching the locals about the game of ultimate he is now ready to return home to school some n00bs. An injury at the end of last season set him back but now that he is at full strength he can’t wait to get back onto the ultimate field.
How I picture Bryan with a mustache
Bryan ‘Pedro’ Pine:
Pedro doesn’t have a mustache but I keep telling him that he should grow one. Honestly I think it would look great on him. Bryan Pine is one of the most naturally gifted ultimate players that I know. His long limbs, big paws, and willingness to chase frisbees like a gleeful dog make him a great down-field receiver… or golden retriever. He has been working hard over the last couple of season, training hard by playing as much pickup as his can and I think he is finally ready to be turned loose on the world. There is also a very likely chance that Bryan is addicted to blueberry muffins.
White Megatron with his new puppy
Carson ‘White Megatron’ Schultz:
White Megatron is such a nice guy. Seriously, I don’t even know why we call him White Megatron, but we do and we call him that all the time. Carson couldn’t harm a fly but he will lay out D you back to your mother’s womb. Yeah just try to get that mental image out of your head. Over the last couple of years he has developed into one of the best players on the team and this year he has taken on the role as defensive co-captain. His great play on the field has been complimented by his extraordinary leadership off of it and I look forward to seeing what he can do this year.
Sanjay being kissed by an Asian guy
Sanjay ‘The Assassin’ Srivastan:
Sanjay is so Assassin-like that he doesn’t have a middle name. When he uses your toilet he leaves no trace that he was ever there. He will use his long body to surround you on the mark, but he is also very stealthy in his up-field D. So watch out when you’re running around the open field because he will sneak up on you and strike… like the black mamba.
Joseph 'JoeyMac' McLauglin
Joseph ‘JoeyMac’ McLaughlin:
JoeyMac is a prolific genius who comes from a long family line of genies. His great-great-great grandfather founded McLaughlin Hall at UC Berkeley. His great grandfather invented Mac-n-Cheese (MacLaughlin and Cheese, much different than macaroni and cheese). His uncle also designed the semi-successful children’s game, MacLaugh-Attack. JoeyMac plays ultimate like a cannon ball. He is a very fast runner but do not get in his way because he cannot turn and his has no qualms with going through you.
When GSI goes 'full-beard'
Andrew ‘GSI’ Olsen:
Congratulations GSI, I know it has always been one of your dreams to become an ultimate vet. After two years of working hard on the A-team you have finally done it! GSI is a chemistry grad student who researches new chemicals that the team can use to become genetic super freak athletes kind of like the Monstars. So far he has been unsuccessful but we let him stay on the team because he can run non-stop. Heck, we even let him pull every once in a while. One time he even managed to get a pull to go ten feet!
AVB rocking out on his guitar
Andrew ‘AVB’ VB:
Last year was AVB’s first year on the A-team but he might be the most veteran player on our entire team. As an Olympic level cross-country skier for the 1996 Swedish team, AVB learned many tricks about work outs and nutrition. Over the last couple of years he has honed his skills as a deep thrower. Even though he has great hucking skills I believe that his greatest asset is his knowledge of when to holster a huck, as evidenced by his team low turnover percentage.
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Wowz. You just met half of the vets! That’s right we still have half of the vets to go in Part II of UGMO Season Preview 2012: The Season the World Ends – The Wily Vets.
