Welcome to the final installment of this series of Season Preview blog posts.  Today we’ll introduced you to the wiliest of the wily, the O-est of the OG.  The Vets Part Duex.

2009 UGMO team at regionals

The vets that I am going to talk about today have been on UGMO for 4+ years.  I have been through a lot with these guys and I know how much they have meant to the team over the last 4 years, and more importantly how much the team has meant to them.  They are the last of the UG’s to have experienced the rebirth of Cal ultimate when they were freshmen and sophomores that helped the team get it’s first nationals appearance since 2004.  They were the young gunz who helped foster a culture of winning and the foundation for the team that surprised the world with a quarter final finish two years ago.  I have no doubt that they will go on to have a large impact in the ultimate world but for now they have one focus: Becoming College Champions.

Skeeter stays rockin the neon track jackets

Jeff ‘Skeeter aka Pickles’ Liu:

Skeet be mad protein synthesizing in the lab (or something), but when he isn’t doing that he is probably beating you deep and then spiking the disc ferociously.  He is the reigning UGMO (‘Erec Hillis Memorial’) Hustle Player of the year and although Skeeter seems like a very calm and nice guy, he currently holds the team record for ‘Most Vicious Spike’ as well as the record for ‘Number of Class 3 Vicious Spikes in a Career’ at an astounding 134 over 3 seasons.

Same difference

Jeff ‘Random Number Generator’ Roeder:

Roeder is probably the most honest person on the team, and since he also writes all of the blog posts you as readers are very lucky and should believe everything that he writes.  Roeder is kind of like Bruce Willis from the movie ‘Unbreakable’ where he is invulnerable to any kind of injury or pain except for his one weakness which is water.  Unfortunately Roeder’s weakness appears to be ultimate.  After a promising start to his career he has suffered several injuries over the last couple of years but he is finally trying to get and stay healthy and contribute for one last run.

Definitely Bieber

Brendan ‘Bieber aka Beebs’ BBS:

In high school Justin Brendan Bieber was a tween heart throb with his prolific classical music exploits and smooth hip hop dance moves.  Sadly he had to retire from classic music and hip hop dance after a freak improv battle involving his phoenix feather and holly bow nearly took off his left pinky.  But he is The Boy Who Lived.  Fortunately for UGMO, he has been working extremely hard over the last couple of years to become the ultimate ultimate player alive and this year he is even taking over a captain role.

Definitely James

James ‘I Gotta Feeling‘ Pollard:

James has had a feeling since his sophomore year.  Unfortunately for all of us who have been around since then, we have had to listen to his feeling over and over again.  This is James’s second season as a captain and he has done a lot for the team this year.  He continues to step up both on and off the field whether is be with huge plays on the field or organizing team events for the players.  I can’t wait to see what he does this year.

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One of those charicature drawing from Disneyland, seriously.

Cullen ‘Geodude’ Coyne:

Sorry dudes but the secrets out.  Geodude is the best pokemon from the original 151 pokemon.  I know what you’re thinking, you probably thought it was Gyarados, Charizard, Mewtwo or at least one of the evolved forms of Geodude but it turns out you’re wrong.  We caught our Geodude over 4 years ago and we have been training him ever since.  He has tried to evolve several times but we just kept hitting B.  Right now he is level 96.  Geodude’s greatest accomplishment is probably when he defeated both carne asada fries and a super burrito two years ago and we didn’t let him evolve.

This is what comes up when you google image search Andrew Hagen

Andrew ‘Hagen’ Hagen:

Andrew ‘Hagen’ Hagen is the biggest heart breaker on UGMO.  But don’t worry gentlemen, he has a sister too.  If it weren’t for Choon constantly insisting that “no one is special,” I’d think that Hagen thought he was special.  Nonetheless, Hagen began his ultimate career at Cal four and a half years ago with humble beginnings.  He was a track stud with mad hops, but the young man had much to learn.  With each season his talents have grown and for the second year in a row he is captaining the defense.

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Well that’s it for this edition of UGMO Season Preview 2012: The Season the World Ends.  Or is it… stay tuned to find out if there will be another post!

Welcome to the first part of the final portion of this series of Season Preview blog posts.  Today we’ll introduced you to the newest of the seasoned wily vets.

I’d say that this year’s team is probably one of the most wily-vet infested teams in the nation.  Last year we had a lot of players who were just getting their first experience of extended playing time on the A-team.  They were good last year but this year they’re a little bit older, a little bit wilier, and a lot more veterinarian.   Over the years they have learned important things like using your opponents moment against them and proper tournament nutrition.  Trust me these guys know their stuff now so without further ado let me introduce you to the vets.

Pound it Oski!

Nick ‘Oski’ Okita:

Oski is a bear.  Usually he is really nice but if he doesn’t have his coffee in the morning he can look like this.  Oski, along with many of the newly appointed wily vets, has been playing on the A-team for the last two years.  He quickly established himself as a reliable handler on last year’s team and has a proclivity for getting timely D’s.  This year he looks to step up his game and provide a steadying influence on the O-line.

Artist rendering of Ponyo

Ben ‘Ponyo’ Mahrer:

Ponyo spent the last six months getting his spanglish on in South America.  After teaching the locals about the game of ultimate he is now ready to return home to school some n00bs.  An injury at the end of last season set him back but now that he is at full strength he can’t wait to get back onto the ultimate field.

How I picture Bryan with a mustache

Bryan ‘Pedro’ Pine:

Pedro doesn’t have a mustache but I keep telling him that he should grow one.  Honestly I think it would look great on him.  Bryan Pine is one of the most naturally gifted ultimate players that I know.  His long limbs, big paws, and willingness to chase frisbees like a gleeful dog make him a great down-field receiver… or golden retriever.  He has been working hard over the last couple of season, training hard by playing as much pickup as his can and I think he is finally ready to be turned loose on the world.  There is also a very likely chance that Bryan is addicted to blueberry muffins.

White Megatron with his new puppy

Carson ‘White Megatron’ Schultz:

White Megatron is such a nice guy.  Seriously, I don’t even know why we call him White Megatron, but we do and we call him that all the time.  Carson couldn’t harm a fly but he will lay out D you back to your mother’s womb.  Yeah just try to get that mental image out of your head.  Over the last couple of years he has developed  into one of the best players on the team and this year he has taken on the role as defensive co-captain.  His great play on the field has been complimented by his extraordinary leadership off of it and I look forward to seeing what he can do this year.

Sanjay being kissed by an Asian guy

Sanjay ‘The Assassin’ Srivastan:

Sanjay is so Assassin-like that he doesn’t have a middle name.  When he uses your toilet he leaves no trace that he was ever there.  He will use his long body to surround you on the mark, but he is also very stealthy in his up-field D.  So watch out when you’re running around the open field because he will sneak up on you and strike… like the black mamba.

Joseph 'JoeyMac' McLauglin

Joseph ‘JoeyMac’ McLaughlin:

JoeyMac is a prolific genius who comes from a long family line of genies.  His great-great-great grandfather founded McLaughlin Hall at UC Berkeley.  His great grandfather invented Mac-n-Cheese (MacLaughlin and Cheese, much different than macaroni and cheese).  His uncle also designed the semi-successful children’s game, MacLaugh-Attack.  JoeyMac plays ultimate like a cannon ball.  He is a very fast runner but do not get in his way because he cannot turn and his has no qualms with going through you.

When GSI goes 'full-beard'

Andrew ‘GSI’ Olsen:

Congratulations GSI, I know it has always been one of your dreams to become an ultimate vet.  After two years of working hard on the A-team you have finally done it!  GSI is a chemistry grad student who researches new chemicals that the team can use to become genetic super freak athletes kind of like the Monstars.  So far he has been unsuccessful but we let him stay on the team because he can run non-stop.  Heck, we even let him pull every once in a while.  One time he even managed to get a pull to go ten feet!

AVB rocking out on his guitar

Andrew ‘AVB’ VB:

Last year was AVB’s first year on the A-team but he might be the most veteran player on our entire team.  As an Olympic level cross-country skier for the 1996 Swedish team, AVB learned many tricks about work outs and nutrition.  Over the last couple of years he has honed his skills as a deep thrower.  Even though he has great hucking skills I believe that his greatest asset is his knowledge of when to holster a huck, as evidenced by his team low turnover percentage.

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Wowz.  You just met half of the vets!  That’s right we still have half of the vets to go in Part II of UGMO Season Preview 2012: The Season the World Ends – The Wily Vets.

Oh hey there.  Glad to see that you’re back!  Today we will introduce you to the sophomores.  

The sophomores this year are all really awesome and have been working hard all summer and fall so that they can beast out this spring.  It’s a well known fact that the sophomores are the true heart and soul of a team and will truly dictate what type of team you will have that season and into the future.  In the words of Carlos Santana, sophomores are “old enough to know better, and young enough to not care.”  I think that describes our sophomore class perfectly.  They have finally developed beyond being immature and inexperienced freshmen to become immature but slightly more experienced sophomores that yell ‘Oh Baby’ all the time.  Nevertheless, it’s hard to look at them without seeing a little bit of the older guys in them.

More about the sophomores after the jump.  Oh Baby!

Da Sophomores

Charles 'Chuck' Cao just getting off work

Charles ‘Chuck aka Cooch’ Cao:

Chuck has shown a lot of enthusiasm towards ultimate, yelling random phrases, settling pretty much anything, and was the most improved player from last year’s team.  Many people thought that his laser flick would make him the heir apparent to Mateo but I think his penchant for yelling ‘Oh Baby’ makes him the second coming of Dalga.  Either way, if Chuck can keep improving and become as good as either player then he has a very bright future.  Chuck also works a part time job at the BuyMore so he gets us the hook up on all of our office supplies.

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Andy 'Bubba' Smith at the 2011 Playa's Ball

Andy ‘Bubba aka Four Loko’ Smith:

Bubba is pure man juice in its finest form.  He runs like he has a tail and downs four loko like its water.  He will kiss Chuck if it means winning the game, and he will use tongue if it will get him extra points.  He will use his deceptive speed to get a D on you and then use it again to score on you deep.  He actually sounds a lot like a former Aqua Delt…

Tommy 'Gunz' Adams after a workout

Tommy ‘Gunz aka Buffalo’ Adams:

Don’t mess with the sophomores or else you’ll have to answer to The Big Gunz… As you can see to the left, Tommy ‘Buffalo’ Adams is a very buff Asian guy and trust me, that picture isn’t photo-shopped.  He played football in high school and loves to wrestle so don’t mess with him.  His throws are still a little bit raw but his muscles are full grown.  His unparalleled athleticism and willingness to sacrifice his body for layouts shows that he will be a big contributor on the D-line this year. 

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Zane 'Zennifer' Rankin posing after practice

Zane ‘Zennifer aka Kelly’ Rankin:

Zennifer is a dreamy half-man, half-cowboy from the lone star state.  If his smile doesn’t get you then surely his 7 foot wing span or 40 inch vertical will.  Hailing from the same high school as Erec ‘Add a t to the end of his name’ Hillis, Zaniel has shown many similarities from his athletic abilities to his love of the game.  He will probably be contributing a lot on the defense but I could also see him playing a large role for the offense.  Basically what I’m saying is that there is a lot of potential for this young man.

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Boom!  Done with another post!  Up next in the final installation of UGMO Season Preview 2012: The Season the World Ends will be the Wily Old Vets, and there are many of them.

Welcome back!  It’s been a while since we last talked.  We’ve missed you… but don’t worry we’re back and we’ll never leave you again.

First let me introduce you to our rookies.  We have a very promising rookie class ranked No. 19 nationally in Rivalls.com rankings, highlighted by two 5 star recruits.  The group consists of four freshmen, one junior transfer, and one grad student.  More about the rooks after the jump.

Da Freshmen

Andrew 'Chowda' Goldstein

Andrew ‘Chowda’ Goldstein:

Chowda is a freshman who played ultimate for Needham.  I have no idea what or where Needham is, but they do have some sweet sublimated jerseys and it’s really easy to make puns using their name.  Chowda has shown some promising skills as probably the best thrower in the incoming class.  He has been battling some early injuries, however, which will likely be his biggest obstacle for seeing the field this year.

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Kenny 'Smooth Jazz' Wong

Kenny ‘Smooth Jazz aka Jazzy Cabbages aka Fox aka Foxxy’ Wong:

Jazzy Cabbages is new to Ultimate but is really athletic.  He played football in high school and he has a huge chest.  Seriously, when he doesn’t have a shirt on sometimes I stare at his chest.  He is also fast, like a fox.  As soon as Fox gets a little bit more experienced I think he will be a huge contributor for our team.  One more thing, I predict that one day Kenny will be president of a Frat.  Bro-Life Fo-Life.           ,

Kohji 'BJ' Sugioka

Kohji ‘Birdie Junior aka BJ aka Chicklet’ Sugioka:

BJ is also new to ultimate but trust me, the last thing he does is suck.  He ran track in high school and he has very good running form.  His favorite defense is the clam and he likes to play right in the middle of the clam.  I see a lot of potential for him as a cutter.   On his off days BeeJay loves to unwind with a protein shake and an exfoliating facial scrub.

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Keith 'Sully' Lipp

Keith ‘Sully aka Percy’ Lipp:

Sully experienced an undisclosed leg injury and is currently on IR.  The doctors are unsure of whether he will ever walk again. Nonetheless his spirit remains unaffected and he has courageously decided to captain the P-team.  We are all praying for a full recovery.

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Da Junior Transfer

Trent 'TomJohn' Logan

Trent ‘TomJohn’ Logan:

TomJohn is a junior transfer and is new to competitive ultimate.  TomJohnathan is mostly a cutter and has shown much promise with some great catches.  He loves the San Francisco 49ers and would give his right nut if they won the Superbowl.  As you can see from the picture to the left he is a giant so good luck covering him.

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Da Grad Student

Brielin 'Doc' Brown

Brielin ‘Doc aka Emmett’ Brown:

Doc Brown time traveled from the year 2011 to play on our 2012 team.  He has self-lacing cleats and drives a Delorean around Berkeley.  He has been struck by lightning at least one time.  Every night he goes home and uses his time machine to get to the next day.

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Whew!  That was a doozy but now that we got that out of the way Sophomores will be up in the next edition of UGMO Season Preview 2012: The Season the World Ends.

Anyway..  the original picture of the dirtied jersey is posted a little further down the blog.  Here’s an unseen picture of the back of the jersey:

Caption - Gross

So clearly the jersey used to be pretty effing dirty.  But after the prescribed treatment (and after several months of anticipation)..  without further adieu, here is the finished product:

Daayyyummmm!

Thanks everyone for your patience.  I can’t promise anything about any new posts coming too quickly but we’ll see what unfolds.  We have an exciting season ahead of us, with Carson Schultz and Brendan “Beebs” Bulik-Sullivan joining Andrew Hagen and myself as the 2011-2012 captain squad.  For some excellent places to keep updated with UGMO Ultimate, please check out our facebook page at http://www.facebook.com/home.php#!/profile.php?id=100000713537357, Nick Rafter’s youtube page (subscribe to nickchaseproductions) at http://www.youtube.com/user/NickChaseproductions, and feel free to subscribe to this blog to get email notifications for new posts.

Thanks for tuning in.

James out!

Again, actually, I don’t really gaze out the window because I work two floors underground. Rather, I do sometimes set my desktop background to nice window-like views of concrete buildings and parking lots and turn the reading lamp above my cubicle to the maximum intensity in order to simulate a more outdoorsy setting.  (It doesn’t work.)

During the frequent multi-day or even weekend-long trysts into abject mindlessness, my mind is often occupied by ultimate. Consequently, I’ve become somewhat of an expert on how to waste my time doing ultimate-related activities. Here is a short list of recommended ways to productively spend your time when you want to make yourself feel ok about wasting your

Learn how to spin a disc on your fingers

Pros: You’re look like a bad-ass the next time you’re walking around campus with a disc. All the ladies will say “oooh” and all the men will feel their genitals shrivel and get sucked back into their pelvic cavities with a gentle “pop”.

Cons: If you’re like me, you’ll never figure out how to do it and only improve your ability to make this face while staring at the disc that keeps falling off your finger

Read ultimate blog posts

Pros: First of all, you’re already good at it judging by your present activities. Furthermore, you might actually learn something about ultimate.

Cons: You might accidentally read a post by Crazy Frank and need to unlearn a few things. You might also become embroiled in the social scene of ultimate, which is even worse. God knows, you could even at some point stumble into RSD, which is just not any good. In hindsight, I should erase this entry.

Write a blog post

Pros: You’ll feel productive and organize your thoughts concerning ultimate.

Cons: Just kidding, you won’t. If anything, you’ll feel like even more of a loser because, let’s face it, what other kind of people actually write blog posts? Ask Google Images “who writes blogs” and you get this person. I really doubt she’s any good at ultimate… or life.

Make a Workout Schedule:

Pros: You can point at something and say, “Look what I’ve done!”.  The best part of this is that you can spend a long time making a schedule. Then, when you don’t follow the schedule, which will happen on average within the hour you complete it, you can immediately go back and spend more time revising the schedule. Definitely one of the best workouts recommended in this post.

Cons: Pro tip – you should say “Look what I’ve done!” quietly and to yourself because nobody actually cares. Not even Choon.

Practice Ultimate or Do an Actual Workout

I’m not even going to “pro” and “con” this one, because it’s so unlikely to actually occur.

Hope that helps. Remember, the only way to get better at ultimate is to think about it constantly, but not actually do anything about it.

I Haz Got Feelins?

I iz dizpleazed with lack of swinigng

Characterization of a Novel Metric for Determining Ultimate Success: A Case Study of Cal Ugmo Ultimate and Teaminess